English is a funny language. Not only do we have weird grammar rules and bizarre looking words, but sometimes you can take a word and rearrange its letters and create a different word with an entirely different meaning. In fact, that happens so often that there's a term for it: anagram.
To (hopefully) clarify, the dictionary defines an anagram as "a word or phrase formed by rearranging the letters of another word or phrase." Sometimes, creating anagrams can lead to some pretty humorous results. For instance, Barack Obama becomes Maraca Kabob when you do a little switcharoo. I don't know about you, but I'd vote for a guy named Maraca Kabob.
According to the internet (which has never said anything untrue) anagrams never lie. I guess rearranging the letters of a specific word can reveal a deeper truth or something. It works for Clint Eastwood, whose name can be re-spelled to reveal "Old West Action." Obviously, I had to try this with the Packers, so here is a selection of some of the best Packer anagrams currently on the roster.
Mason Crosby - Acronyms Sob - Because when you miss easily makeable kicks, words like "scuba" and "radar" get really sad.
Randall Cobb - Cornball Dab - Sounds like a distant cousin of Red Fox.
Alex Green - General Ex - After he retires from football, Alex Green will play an interstellar space villain in a science fiction movie. He's got the name built in.
Casey Hayward - Raceway Shady - This makes me think of a weird world where Eminem is a Nascar fan.
Cedric Benson - Inbred Sconce - Sconces are great, but inbred sconces are gross.
Brandon Saine - Abandon Reins - Abandon them I say!
James Starks - Skaters Jams - Skaters Jams are what skateboarders listen to when they go to their skateboarding competitions. It's true.
Brad Jones - Banjos Red - Banjos Red likes to hang out with Raceway Shady and Cornball Dab. They're just a fun group of racial stereotypes.
Terrell Manning - Lantern Gremlin - I don't know what a lantern gremlin is, but I hope it doesn't look like this.
Jeff Saturday - A Staffed Jury - Jeff Saturday seems like he'd be a civicly aware gentlemen, so he'd definitely be part of a staffed jury.
Don Barclay - Carnal Body (or Bacon Lardy, Bald Crayon, A Bald Crony) - And the 2012 winner of the best anagram prize...Don Barclay! And just look at him...he's definitely got a carnal body. Rawr.
Josh Sitton - Shot Joints - Don Barclay has a carnal body. Josh Sitton has shot joints. We can't all win.
Bryan Bulaga - Angular Baby - Of course, having shot joints might be better than being an angular baby. Angular Baby, incidentally, is the name of my new band.
Mike Daniels - Limeade Skin - Limeade Skin is definitely a minor Batman villain. I can picture it now.
Ryan Pickett - Prance Kitty - Prace, I tell you! Prance! Ryan Pickett definitely seems like a dude who could get some serious prancing done.
Tom Crabtree - Embrace Tort - Embracing tort (different spelling, I know) is how Don Barclay got his carnal body.
Erik Walden - Dealer Wink - Is it good or bad if the dealer winks at you?
Mike Neal - Email Ken - Do it Mike! Email Ken right now!
Am I the only one amused by this? I hope not.