Packers' all-white alternates are a part of a bad league-wide trend

The Packers will wear their all-white “Winter Warning” uniforms tonight when they take on the Washington Commanders, and I have thoughts.

This is unsurprising to you. Of course I have uniform-related thoughts.

The Packers have had some version of this uniform for close to a decade now, dating back to their debut in the 2016 season. But I think it’s a symptom of a disease whose symptoms are spreading throughout the NFL. We’re in an era of unprecedented uni-creep, one I talked about all the way back in January before the NFL even announced its “Rivalries” uniform program that will give every team an additional alternate uniform over the next four years. Even the generally uniform-conservative Packers will have five different uniform options next season: their traditional home and road uniforms, their all-white alternates, their newly announced throwbacks, and whatever this Rivalries uniform ends up being.

And that’s where we’ve lost the plot. I’m not against alternate uniforms in general, but having them just to have them is where we cross the sartorial Rubicon.

Throwback uniforms honor a team’s history, making them a worthwhile addition to a team’s uni-closet. Even a uniform set that is a fun take on a team’s traditional uniforms can be good and interesting. But when you add too many, you start having uniforms just to have them. They’re just costumes at that point, and that defeats the purpose of a uniform identity for a given team. If you change how you look every week, is your uniform really a uniform anymore?

I don’t think so. They just become another jangling set of keys meant to capture our increasingly baby-like attention spans across our culture. They’re a parade of hollow shiny objects, and nothing more.

And for that matter, the Packers’ all-white sets aren’t even particularly good. The jersey is just their traditional road uniform (although “home” and “road” distinctions are becoming increasingly blurred, another loss for the uni-community), and their pants are just…white. But they’re white in a non-uniform way, too! They’re not just a white version of the Packers’ traditional gold pants; the striping is subtly different.

But the striping is also a problem, because the consistency of the motif varies from pants to jerseys to helmet. The pants and jerseys both have a pair of green stripes flanking a gold one, but the helmet omits the gold, and I think it would look so much better if the helmets had a touch of gold to them.

I am no photo manipulation master, but here’s a look at how the Packers’ alternate helmets could look with a gold stripe on them. I think it’s an improvement!

Bute ven an improved version would be more distraction than necessity. There’s no reason for these uniforms to exist, and I don’t think they should. I know the whole “alternate uniform” push is not aimed at me, but I wish someone would make a uniform concession that was, at least for once. Why can’t we do things for the people who don’t like having half a dozen different uniform variations for a given team?

Oh, and “Winter Warning” is a joke. It’s September! It’s technically still summer! Call them the White Cheddar uniforms and I’ll stop complaining. Well, I mean, I won’t, but they’ll have gotten at least one thing right.

Anyway, I’ve got some clouds to yell at. Stay off of my lawn while I’m away.